Thirsty Thursday

Welcome all to my second posting!
This means you are absolutely bored & cannot help but read my blog.
you... its all you man..

And so i start this posting talking about none other then the upcoming movie:

JONAH HEXThis movie will be ruined by Megan Fox. Alright Enough said.

Lets move on to the man of the summer... my latin lover..
ROBERT RODRIGUEZ

You may know him from a few little films he's done..
Oh.. just...
el mariachi, once upon a time in mexico, desperado, planet terror and from dusk till dawn

Well he's got two films coming up.
There is : MACHETE!

We've been waiting for this film since it was a faux trailer, during grindhouse!!!

The badass himself Danny Trejo stars in the films, playing

ONE PISSED OFF MEXICAN

along side him in the film are stars like:
Robert Dinero, Don Johnson, Steven Segal, Jessica Alba!

Cheech Marin, Michelle Rodriguez..and the dreaded Li-Lo.

The movie is rumored to be coming out in theaters: Sept 3, 2010..
Get your coronas & guns ready for a kick ass time.
Also Antibiotics, with lindsay lohan on screen you may catch something.

NOTE:
I do not truly think you'll catch anything from viewing Li-Lo on screen..
But just incase..bring something. Wetnaps. Hand sanitizer. Airborne

And our Next Rodriguez Flick is.. PREDATOR!

Ah yes we had to give T-pain a job sometime didnt we?

This nice little reboot is going to test the living meat and two veg. of Adrien Brody Looks like your Pianist skills don't come in handy now Snout Master.
May the force be with you..
But let predator still kick your ass..
Like literally. Then use that hook thing to rip out your intestines.
Too far.. okay..

And now for my WTF? of the week:
WTF? DOLPHIN FAMILY

Ya. No. This picture isn't playful majestic marine animal play.
This is a killer whale.. beating the shit out of a dolphin.
And for those of you who didnt know.. orca whales.. are big fucking dolphins.
Ya take that South Africans. We seen't it.
No way i've giving the save the whales conservation a dime.

Not only do dolphins kill their own family! But they assasinate humans!

Take this big Fellow Tillikum. Remember him?
A couple months ago. Murdered his trainer over at Seaworld.
Ya turns out he's a serial killer.
Killed a dude in Canada..with the help of two females.
Basically led a whale Manson family
Then.. killed a naked guy who hopped the fence in Orlando.
But hey, if i was the biggest whale in captivity, who birthed like 17 kids.
I'd assume Seaworld would look the other way for me too.

You know people we were prepared for all of these whale attack occurences.
Anyone see the movie ORCA?

You piss one of them off.. And you've got hell to pay.
I'd like to see Michael Jackson do the soundtrack for that!
Wait he's dea.. Nevermind

Alright. Hope you all enjoyed.
Stay away from dolphins and lindsay lohan & have a great weekend.

- Carmen

Welcome to my world.

Hello. Welcome to my sick little world. A little heavy start for a 1st blog entry i know.
How rude of me..My name first & foremost is Carmen.Ya. Not Doctor Doom. But the broad in the green. I have decided that i wanted to create a blog. Why?
Because i love to bullshit. And as we all know, you can't bullshit a bullshitter.. Thus.. i shall spread my word.
This blog isnt mean't to be serious, where i post deep poems and quote emo songs you kids listen to nowadays.

This is the kind of blog, you can light a few candles to,play some Al Green and Snack on some jerky to.

I am going to post about things i love to talk about most:
Movies. Televison. Comics. And on occasion celebrities.

WARNING:
I am not a professional. The things i will write are not profound. And i will probably use profanity.
Who am i kidding. I fucking curse like a sailor. If you dont like it, you're shit out of luck.

Well. Now that i'm done with introductions. Lets hop to it:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

So i most recently watched the new remake of Nightmare on Elm Street.
Being that the first real film i can honestly remember watchin as a kid was nightmare on elm street. This integrity of this film really was held close to my heart. I think that Michael Bay did a fantastic job.
The kill scenes were amazing. Not to ruin anything. What was my favorite part about seeing this movie..
Wasn't just the film itself. More like the douchebags who also watched with us in the theater.

Take this scenario:
(sitting in a dark theater, as Freddy krueger begins to slice into a victim on screen, a cellphone alert goes off)
Woman in theater: Hey! Shut your alarm off!
( the loud mouthed woman's baby, not fucking kid, but baby sounds off & wails )
Man with cell phone: Shut your baby off!
Woman in theater: Have some fucking respect for mothers!
Man with cell phone: Have some fucking respect for freddy krueger!

I'll tell ya what folks. That baby was about 30 seconds from being chucked across the theater.
Thankfully the woman was escorted and we could watch our horror in peace.
The nerve of some people being babies into theaters.
If you're watching, i dont know for fuck sakes maybe Ice Age, bringing a baby is perfectly fine.
But to bring a baby to Nightmare on Elmstreet?.. Jesus. Do you want your kid to turn out like me?
Have a sick fascination with blood, gore and serial murderers and even be allergic to eggs?
The last part had nothing to do with the statement, I just wanted to throw it in there.

If my theater experience has proven anything to me, it proves this:
We prefer Freddy Krueger over Children. Sucess.

Back to the movie. Jackie Earle Haley did a great job as freddy. Though it took him a while to get the smart ass remarks we're used to with robert englund's portrayl of krueger, he did a fantastic job.

Jackie's freddy legitmately looked like a burn Victim. And robert's more so mimiced a sexual predator with bacon on his face. Mmm bacon. And mmm robert englund.

If you ask me: Is nightmare on elm street worth watching?
The answer is yes. Just dont bring your baby.
Unless you're willing to understand there is a chance someone may chuck it with great fury..
Across the theater.

SIDE NOTE: incase Robert englund or Michael Bay reads this blog:
i'd make a great addition to the next film
I can't promise i wont stalk you around the set.. but i am really really good at pretending to be dead. May this face haunt you all.. all..

Onto our next Film i recently saw, brings me to Iron man 2:

Fanastastic sequel! Filled with action! Love! Booze!Armor Suit cases! And mickey rourke..being russian..
I said Booze right?... YES! BOOZE!

Robert Downey Jr. was, and is the perfect actor to play tony stark:

Booze - check. Money - check. Good looks - check.
Ability to stay away from Sam jackson in a trench coat and eye patch - check.

Kudos R.D.J. But the true hero award of this movie goes to...

Mickey Rourke's bird in the movie! Not only did he get to hang out with Mickey, RDJ & Scarlett..
But he was stayed his feathery ass out of trouble & stayed in the homeland & probably died before mickey rourke tried to eat him! Because mickey looks like someone i'd see in downtown behind a dumpter, asking for "tree fitty". Then you'd find out M.R. was actually the lochness monster.. And..Well..
That's my assumption of what the bird fate WOULD have been if he went along for the ride.

Speaking of Scarlett Look at her:

I dont even have anything to say about her being black widow. Just look at her...
Done. Cut. Scene. Print. Clean yourself up.

I hope you all enjoyed reading. Stay classy until next time.

-CARMEN