I am beginning to realize that I maybe the worlds worst blogger.
It took me about 20 minutes to remember my login and password
That is how long, its been since I have been on this thing.
That is how long, its been since I have been on this thing.
But enough of my horrible memory and lack of dedication!!
Let's get to bid-ness!
Let's get to bid-ness!
Recently I saw the trailer for the movie:
I know what you're thinking.
Hey? Isn't that the bad ass guy from the movie Taken?
YES! Now with fully functioning man scruff on his face!
For those of you who have viewed the trailer
Have probably come to the same conclusion as I have
The conclusion being that...
Liam Neeson maybe the best person to get stuck in the woods with, ever.
We all know that the woods, is home to many of God's frightening creatures.
Creatures such as Owls, termites, Bears and Wolves.
In the trailer.
Balto over there, tries to get a piece of our dear old Mr.Neeson.
Balto over there, tries to get a piece of our dear old Mr.Neeson.
And what does he do?
What any other disheveled man in the woods, facing natures killing machine would do.
Tape broken bottles to his hands, and get into a punching match with this rabid pup!
My greatest fear, is that I will be stuck in the middle of the woods.
Encountered by a pack of wolves, be armed with a roll of duct tape
And an empty bottle of Jack Daniels, and not know hot to MacGyver my way to safety!
And an empty bottle of Jack Daniels, and not know hot to MacGyver my way to safety!
Thank you Liam Neeson.
In your old age, you refuse to stop kicking ass.
In your old age, you refuse to stop kicking ass.
Like Charles Bronson. Without the mustache. I salute you
THE GREY will be hitting theaters January 27th, 2012.
Another film, that's been buzzing
Around the interwebs is Steve Mcqueen's
SHAME features the talented Michael Fassbender, as a sex addict.
...
Yes.Mmm. Wait there was a point I was making.
Ah yes. Movie.
SHAME is rated NC-17, for what Hollywood Reporter states the movie includes:
"Straight/Gay, three-way, urination and masturbation scenes"
Sounds alot like a Saturday night with Tara Reid to me
But with a lot less plastic surgery... and tears.
Looks like our glorious Magento, has the possibility of winning
"BEST ACTOR" in this years Oscars.
Which would only be fair.
Outside of playing an extremely complex character with a sex addiction.
He goes full frontal.
Anyone who shows off the Wangus, deserves an oscar nomination.
I am almost 99 % sure, that is a law in the movie world.
Coming to DVD soon
Is the 2011 Prequel to John Carpenter's remake of
Going into the film, originally I thought the film was a direct remake of
John Carpenter's 1982 remake.
But in fact, the movie was a prequel.
And a damned good one too.
And a damned good one too.
The new film showcases, what happened at the Norwegian base camp in Antarctica
Before the American's stumble upon the wasted camp.
Two young American researchers, are invited to Antarctica to investigate
A world changing discovery, found deep below the surface of the ice.
The movie may not feature Kurt Russel, in all his frozen glory
But it does offer, a complete back story to Carpenter's film.
Going so far into detail, to explain, how and why
Every hole, burn and discarded body part
Every hole, burn and discarded body part
Got to the Norwegian camp in the first place.
My only worry about the new film, was the use of CGI as its special effects
Which in all honesty, was tastefully done.
But will never compare to the amazing visuals of
Stan Winston's and Rob Bottin's spfx team
In my opinion, if you're watching 2011's THE THING.
Watch it, and then re-watch John Carpenter's remake directly afterward.
The films, almost flawlessly follow each other.
The 82' film, takes place after 2011 film ends.
With a few moments in between.
THE THING will be released onto Blu Ray and DVD
This upcoming February
Do not miss out!
Normally, this is the part of my blog
Where i violently rant about something.
With the New Year starting, you'd think I would make it
My resolution to try to be more positive in my writing...
Well you are wrong.
My resolution was to try to work out once a week.
(Which I have no intention of really doing).
So that brings me to my rant of the blog...
WTF?! ZOOEY DESCHANEL
With the rise of her new show "The New Girl"
I have been bombarded with how "adorably awkward" Zooey is.
She wears dark rimmed glasses, and even sings her conversations.
And she even has a hard time saying the word "PENIS"
The show is about a quirky girl named Jess
Who breaks up with her boyfriend, and is forced
To share an apartment with three guys.
They then realize, that she's really weird, and hilarity ensues.
Which is great. Except...
The show makes Zooey Deschanel look way too approachable.
I'm sorry.
I watched the movie 500 Days of Summer
I am not fooled by her 1960's bangs, and baby blues.
She is a maneater!
Case and point.
Zooey, married the lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie's Ben Gibbard
My heavy set, mutton chopped hero.
Death Cab for Cutie, known for its sad Pacific North Western sound
Immediately changed tune, and got a lot happier.
Thanks Zo. I loved it when I could wallow in my misery, through music.
And you ruined it! Way to be Yoko!
But, there is hope.
Zooey & Ben Gibbard recently filed for divorce.
Meaning, myself and the other legion of DCFC fans
Get to have their depressing music back.
It'd be like if Morrissey said
"Hey fuck this girlfriend in a coma shit, let's sing about rainbows!"
No, no, no. Zooey's reign on my music, isn't the only thing that bothers me.
She officially made, having horrible eye vision cool.
Everywhere I go, I get the comment
"I love those glasses! They're just like the ones from that 'NEW GIRL' show!"
Hey. Go fuck yourself.
Did I choose to be born with horrible eye sight?
No. Does Zooey Deschanel have bad eye sight?
No. Did her producers, think that putting dark rimmed glasses on her
Would make her seem more appealing and adorkable?
Yes.
Look people.
Women have been wearing dark rimmed glasses
Women have been wearing dark rimmed glasses
Long before 'The New Girl'
Exhibit A & B:
Tina Fey and Lisa Loeb.
HA, so there!
Damn you Zooey Deschanel!
You have made everyone fall in love with you.
Except for me!
I know you for what you really are.
A heart breaking, near sighted faking, awkward song singing siren
Now please.. Get away from my television screen.
That's all folks.
Hope you enjoyed reading my insanity.
Auf Wiedersehen
-Carmen
