You heard it kids.
Its saturday. I bet you all are still sitting in your pj's, eating some cereal
Watching cartoons. If you are. Its already the evening already. And you're adults.
Get a job already.
Its saturday. I bet you all are still sitting in your pj's, eating some cereal
Watching cartoons. If you are. Its already the evening already. And you're adults.
Get a job already.
I recently saw two movies in the theaters that i really enjoyed.
The first being the movie, that all of us viewers have been waiting for, for almost 3 years.
MACHETE
[Fun Fact: Danny Trejo's MACHETE character made his first debut in Rodriguez's Spy Kids]
Since Robert Rodriguez, gave us the taste of Danny Trejo kicking ass in his faux trailer
During grindhouse, we have been hungering for this film filled with blood and sex ever since.
Rodriguez pulled off another fun action filled film, with his mariachi camera style
And fantastic score done by "CHINGON", which Rodriguez plays guitar for.
And fantastic score done by "CHINGON", which Rodriguez plays guitar for.
Machete, takes on the whole idea of illegal immigration with a comedic light.
Nothing like blood, tits, guns and one liners to show the american people
What it feels like to be on the other side of the fence.
Nothing like blood, tits, guns and one liners to show the american people
What it feels like to be on the other side of the fence.
The only part of the film I was weirded out by..
Was the fact that Lindsay Lohan was in the movie.
Mind you thats how i feel about most movies Li-Lo is in. .But hell.
This broad ends up playing a slutty wasted girl, who has a hunger for drugs
Quite the stretch for our little bleach blonde red hed i know.
But when Lindsay appears on screen, you can't help but cringe.. and want a shower.
I get the " Who let drunk uncle ralph come to the party! " sort of vibe.
And I assume so did Robert Rodriguez did also, because Lindsay Lohan was told to not come
To the premiere of "MACHETE" , due to her numerous ... drug loving crotch shot stunts
She's so well known for.
But who knows.. That ONE VAGINA SHOT, could have shot "MACHETE"
Into the box office hot seat, pushing that god damn "Eat pray love" movie where it belongs:
A theater filled with women who are looking to watch movies about empowerment,
Who then go home, and eat their feelings out of a fucking icecream bucket,
Hoping their boyfriends will love them, and finally feel the guff to ask for a raise at their jobs.
Damn you julia roberts, wasn't pretty woman and runaway bride enough!
But i digress.
Another perk of the film, was the fact that Michelle Rodriguez's character
Gave me movie wood, the entire film
She lead the network of illegal immigrants to the states.
She kicked major ass.
She also was half naked in most of the film.
She made me question my heterosexuality for a minute.
She kicked major ass.
She also was half naked in most of the film.
She made me question my heterosexuality for a minute.
Salud Robert Rodriguez.
You made me proud to call myself Mexican.
Now give me a shot of jose cuervo & a steaming enchilada!
Another film that I recently saw in theaters was
THE LAST EXORCISM
THE LAST EXORCISM
The film was produced by Eli Roth.
And if you follow Mr. Roth on twitter, your twitter account has been flooded
With shameless promotion. . you.. damn serial tweeter you.
( Eli Roth's twitter account)
And if you follow Mr. Roth on twitter, your twitter account has been flooded
With shameless promotion. . you.. damn serial tweeter you.
( Eli Roth's twitter account)
The last exorcism went from being Rated R, to a PG13 Rating.
Which I think is personally a smart movie.
Summer movie. Brat kids have money to spend, movies to see on vacation.
Wa-LA! Rated R, gets bumped to PG13.
Which I think is personally a smart movie.
Summer movie. Brat kids have money to spend, movies to see on vacation.
Wa-LA! Rated R, gets bumped to PG13.
The movie starts out as a documentary on a Southern pastor
Who wanted to expose exorcisms for what they really were, hoaxes.
His film crew follow him, into a small town into Louisiana where he meets a young girl.
The families livestock end up getting slaughtered, and creepy shit ensues.
The pastor then realizes, that he's shit out of luck. And he's really dealing with demonic forces.
Who wanted to expose exorcisms for what they really were, hoaxes.
His film crew follow him, into a small town into Louisiana where he meets a young girl.
The families livestock end up getting slaughtered, and creepy shit ensues.
The pastor then realizes, that he's shit out of luck. And he's really dealing with demonic forces.
The movie has the right amount of demon - comedy ratio.
And don't worry kids, you get to steer clear of any crucifix masturbation scenes.
But there is some awesome gore, that surprised me for a fucking PG13 film.
And don't worry kids, you get to steer clear of any crucifix masturbation scenes.
But there is some awesome gore, that surprised me for a fucking PG13 film.
I've heard alot of backlash about the ending of the film.
Well fuck you, people who didnt like it.
I appreciate the film for what it was, and i thought the ending was amazing.
The film and performances caught me off guard, and legitimately gave me the heebie jeebies.
Mind you i'm bloody catholic. But still.
Its scarier then holding old peoples hands during sunday mass.
Well fuck you, people who didnt like it.
I appreciate the film for what it was, and i thought the ending was amazing.
The film and performances caught me off guard, and legitimately gave me the heebie jeebies.
Mind you i'm bloody catholic. But still.
Its scarier then holding old peoples hands during sunday mass.
Speaking of the exorcist.
On september 30th 2010, participating theaters will be rereleasing
The Exorcist: the directors cut
So if you're ready for split pea soup! Linda blair wanking herself off with the cross.
And to be terrified of a 12 year old girl!
Visit this link to see if you have the chance to have a viewing near you:
fathom theaters
The Exorcist: the directors cut
So if you're ready for split pea soup! Linda blair wanking herself off with the cross.
And to be terrified of a 12 year old girl!
Visit this link to see if you have the chance to have a viewing near you:
fathom theaters
Anyone who has been to the theater lately
Has seen the ultra confusing trailer for:
Has seen the ultra confusing trailer for:
The best part of the trailer
Is when people read the name "M.NIGHT SHYMALAN" in the credits
Is when people read the name "M.NIGHT SHYMALAN" in the credits
And boo's the screen.
What twist will see now Shymalan?
Aliens allergic to water? Ghost Bruce Willis? Raping a children's TV show?
I know... having your own name removed from the trailer
So that people will actually see the film. True Fact. I seen't it.
It must suck to know, that everyone in America knows how hard you blow.
Paris Hilton shares your pain man.
Aliens allergic to water? Ghost Bruce Willis? Raping a children's TV show?
I know... having your own name removed from the trailer
So that people will actually see the film. True Fact. I seen't it.
It must suck to know, that everyone in America knows how hard you blow.
Paris Hilton shares your pain man.
I'd like to talk about a few comics I'm currently reading:
One being ... Batman: The return of Bruce Wayne
This six issue mini series written by Grant Morrison
Follows Bruce Wayne, as he travels through time, making his way back to the 21st century
Which takes place, after his untimely death in the DC story arch of " FINAL CRISIS"
To see my beloved, Bruce wayne, as pirate.. and a pilgrim fucked with my noodle.
I felt like we took a trip to the silver age of comics, and the crazy mind of Morrison.
I was waiting to see Bruce dress as a construction worker, and dance to the song " YMCA"
At studio 54.
The Bruce Wayne, in this mini series, is nothing like the Bruce of stories told before.
If anyone can show their readers who Bruce Wayne, and Batman really is.
It's Grant Morrison. And I feel like he fails miserably in this arch.
Follows Bruce Wayne, as he travels through time, making his way back to the 21st century
Which takes place, after his untimely death in the DC story arch of " FINAL CRISIS"
To see my beloved, Bruce wayne, as pirate.. and a pilgrim fucked with my noodle.
I felt like we took a trip to the silver age of comics, and the crazy mind of Morrison.
I was waiting to see Bruce dress as a construction worker, and dance to the song " YMCA"
At studio 54.
The Bruce Wayne, in this mini series, is nothing like the Bruce of stories told before.
If anyone can show their readers who Bruce Wayne, and Batman really is.
It's Grant Morrison. And I feel like he fails miserably in this arch.
But with the Shennanigans of The Return of Bruce Wayne, comes
In issues of Batman 701 & 702, we get to take a sneak peak
Of Batman's last case, before his death , during Batman R.I.P
The comics gave me new light on the Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne
Its been a long time, since we've heard Bruce talk, under the cowl.
And Grant Morrison delivered, and made me excited to buy the
65 FUCKING MILLION OFF SHOOTS IN ORDER TO BRING BRUCE BACK
BEING PUMPED OUT IN THE NEXT TWO MONTHS.
Of Batman's last case, before his death , during Batman R.I.P
The comics gave me new light on the Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne
Its been a long time, since we've heard Bruce talk, under the cowl.
And Grant Morrison delivered, and made me excited to buy the
65 FUCKING MILLION OFF SHOOTS IN ORDER TO BRING BRUCE BACK
BEING PUMPED OUT IN THE NEXT TWO MONTHS.
Some good comics I think you you should take a peak at
If you like the old "ultra violence" come from IMAGE comics.
There is :
If you like the old "ultra violence" come from IMAGE comics.
There is :
( written by Joe Casey and Chris Burnham)
It feels like a mixture of terminator & adult swims " Super Jail" all mixed into one book.
I love gore, and this book has some awesome layouts filled with it!
It's a girls dream!
And:
( written by Tim Seeley)
Image's new baby, Hack/Slash, originally from DDP.
The series follows Cassie Hack, on her first real hunt for slashers.
And is a great read for people who followed the original series.
Or would just like to start off fresh.
Its got blood, babes, and crude language. What isn't to love.
The series follows Cassie Hack, on her first real hunt for slashers.
And is a great read for people who followed the original series.
Or would just like to start off fresh.
Its got blood, babes, and crude language. What isn't to love.
& for my last segment ( fucking stay with me man)
WTF?!? Advertising:
WTF?!? Advertising:
First of all. If you own a television set. You have seen the awesome new commercials
That makes every prepubescent boy giggle.
Shake weights
That makes every prepubescent boy giggle.
Shake weights
If extenze didn't already make you feel awkward while flipping channels with your family.
Shake weights will. Nothing like seeing middle aged women shake a long skinny weight
And like it! That commercial is flooding our airways !
When really. Its almost October and there isnt one fucking commercial for :
Shake weights will. Nothing like seeing middle aged women shake a long skinny weight
And like it! That commercial is flooding our airways !
When really. Its almost October and there isnt one fucking commercial for :
Yet.
I WANT MY MARSHMELLOW BATS!
NOT WOMEN PERFECTING THEIR STRONG HANDS!
I demand justice.
Marketing. You fail me once again.
I WANT MY MARSHMELLOW BATS!
NOT WOMEN PERFECTING THEIR STRONG HANDS!
I demand justice.
Marketing. You fail me once again.
That is all.
- Carmen
